Hello everyone! How's your day? Well, it's been a long and emotional day for me. This is just one of those days when I feel like I have an hourglass running out of sand while relentlessly holding onto it. I had two subjects in school today but I had six hours vacant in between. Can you even imagine it? Good thing my cousin has been with me to keep me company throughout that six-hours wait. Oh, we watched Jurassic World and that helped us slip through the clock.

Anyway, why am I writing in all of a sudden? I have a simple explanation. 

"And when it rains: I write."

This phrase has been my mantra whenever it rains. I just feel the urge to write because just like the raindrops, and just like the water rushing throughout the pavements, my mind is also in a panic attack. Whenever it rains, I can feel my brain cells dancing 'Uptown Funk' in frenzy. 

Have you ever heard of the word Pluviophile? It is actually one of my favorite word which means 'A lover of rain; someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days'. I personally know a few people who are actually pluviophiles. You would often hear them describing how calm and relax they are whenever it rains. Well, as for me, it was the exact opposite. I can't exactly explain why but I just feel it deep within my bones; something is crippling, aching, crying out, even wanting to break free. I love the fact that the rain can wash away all the dirt from yesterdays. I love the fact of imagining that these raindrops can wash away all the pain that a person is carrying. I love the fact of thinking how it brings relief to those people who are always in a hurry. But I hate the fact that I feel all the pain at once as it washes theirs. I would often have this feeling of emptiness and sadness, when every little melodramatic memories come flashing back to the present. I hate the fact that this same rain puts me into a deep coma of nostalgia. I am not being too much of an emotional brat here, but I feel it. It was always there. Sometimes I would ask myself: "Why can't I love the rain? Why do I have to feel something heavy in my chest? Why do I have to remember everything at once when I am looking for peace of mind?" As time goes by, I learned to actually embrace this fact about me. I would like to think of it as one of my quirks! Instead of being carried away by this feeling, I try to think how it makes me whole. It makes me whole because it is ME, after all. People have been telling me that I am too much of a sensitive type, but I also learned that maybe this is what all the world needs to change something?

This is the world we are in.  No matter how chaotic your brain is, no matter how weird you might be, or no matter how you get these "feels" for many things, always remember that just like the rain, we all have that intensity to turn the not-so-pretty days into a wonderful one. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to be empathic. Whenever tough things rain down on you, just keep in mind that these things are also the key to wash it all away. Keep the feeling alive. Just keep feeling. Accept yourself for who you are, not what the world wants you to be. The world is big, don't let that single rain drop drown you on your own manholes. It's okay... Everything's going to be fine, I promise. Keep on loving and hating the rain. Keep on loving yourself and your life. Hang in there!

I write when I am at my extremes. I write when it's raining. 

I am a mess with my own thoughts and I almost always never get it right. But let me tell you something, I just want to write and express everything, even when no one would listen nor read. That is how I live to love, believe and fight.

 I am, but the Recovering Rain.